Flash Fiction Fun: Cheeky Morning
Only Muggle knew my secret.
Every morning, I got out of bed, went to the kitchen and cooked breakfast. Totally normal, right? Except …
I liked to do it bare-assed.
I wore a shirt because it was nippy in the morning, but this was my one small act of rebellion. My tiny, unseen wild streak in my mundane life.
I didn’t live alone, but Katy was a night owl. I hadn’t seen her rise before 10 a.m. in the year we’d lived together, so it was a safe, if neurotic, habit.
A whimper sounded by my feet. My overweight pug begged for scraps. “No way, Muggle. The chicks won’t dig you with all that extra padding.”
“Looks like you could use some padding,” a deep voice said.
I whirled, spatula in hand. “What the fff–”
A guy. A guy stood in the kitchen, lips smirking and eyes pointed nowhere near my face.
I spun back to face the stove. Glancing around wildly for cover, I grabbed a pot holder from the counter and thrust it behind my ass. Thank God, I was a skinny fucker.
“Sorry,” he said. He didn’t sound sorry. He sounded amused.
“Who are you?” I said to the eggs.
“I’m Tyler. Katy let me crash on the couch.”
No. Not Tyler, as in Katy’s hot gay brother. Not Tyler, as in, “he’s moving to town and you should meet him, Josh, because you two would be so awesome together.” Just no.
It started out as muffled chuckles, as if he were trying to resist, but before long he was belly-laughing.
“So,” he wheezed. “Is there a reason for this, like you spilled juice on your only pair of boxers or absolutely every pair of pants you own are in the laundry? Or is this a thing?”
My face blazed, and I could feel the blush spreading to every inch of skin. Just what I needed: a full-on ass blush.
“This is a nightmare. I’ll wake up, and Katy’s hot gay brother won’t be standing behind me.”
He moved closer, and his chest pressed against my back. My breath caught.
“Hot, huh?” he murmured. With a flick of his wrist, he turned off one burner. Then another. “You’re burning the eggs.”
Cool air rushed in as he stepped back.
“Right. I should put on pants.”
He chuckled. “Yep.”
“Are you going to leave?”
“Nope. Katy’s hot gay brother enjoys a good show as much as the next guy.”
“Muggle,” I said. “Sick him.”
“Cute pug, but he’s shit for guarding.” His voice turned playful. “I’ll happily guard your ass on our date, though.”
“Who am I to turn down a guy with an ass hot enough to fry eggs?”
His laughter followed as I dashed for my bedroom. My cheeks — all of them — blushed, but a smile crossed my face. I had a date with hot Tyler, so what the hell? If you can’t hide your neurosis, own it, right?
Written by DJ Jamison. Please visit the flash fic group on Facebook and check out the links to the other authors’ flash fics!